Then she looked down at me and said, "We are not all here for the same thing." I agreed and I never went back to that church again.

Then she looked down at me and said, "We are not all here for the same thing." I agreed and I never went back to that church again.

Of all my experiences at churches, initially I believed that the above event was the most hurtful and tragic. It occurred to me personally. At first I was offended, but it later became a sermon. It reminded me that not every issue is mine to solve. 1 Corinthians 7:14-16 discusses the sanctified woman's ability to save her whole family if her husband is an unbeliever. It concludes by saying that if the unbeliever chooses to leave, let him go because it might not have been her job to save him in the first place.

I left home at 18 years old, the son of a Baptist preacher. I went to the military and spent a whole lot of time having a great time. I went to a lot of clubs, drank a lot of stuff and acted like you would expect a young sailor to. I was selected to an advanced school and was given an opportunity to have a very profitable future. I stayed in till retirement. By the time I was 30, I had lived in 7 different states and visited 10 different countries. The most inspiring to me was Israel. I visited the Holy Sites that were important to me spiritually and recommitted myself to God on the banks of the Sea of Galilee and followed that up with being baptized in the Jordan River. On that day I challenged myself to answer honestly the question "Do I believe that Jesus is the son of God?" I made the decision to commit serving God like I believed it.

Returning home I became more active in churches and the community. I served in big churches and small churches. I served in churches in every level of growth. I served in churches that were making transitions from small to large, churches that were just newly formed and  in mega-churches with exploding growth. I never had an ulterior motive because in every case, I was just a visitor passing through. I found that small family churches needed the most help because they typically lacked people who had an interest in technology, which is a passion of mine, or had leadership that resisted changing with the times. I retired from the military, at the age of 39, heavily decorated heading to a job that would pay me more money than I needed and would give me the potential to grow personally and professionally. I gave churches that I belonged the same level of passion that I gave my military career. I visualized myself as a missionary of sorts. I had no real ties and no agenda. My concern was simply doing my best to help the churches that I belonged to prosper and grow.

The uncomfortable truth about the small churches and the proliferation of new churches is that some people believe that our relationship with God is enhanced by positional authority in a church. This is so important to them that they will sacrifice effective service for a position. Some will even get defensive when they perceive a threat to that position. I recall teaching a Sunday school lesson with power points and was challenged because someone believed that I was trying to show them up. My goal was to enhance and grow Sunday school. Their concern was not feeling comfortable with change.

I was sitting in Sunday school, on that particular day, visiting a church that I had been previously been associated with. My presence in Sunday school that day had nothing to do with my intent to stay. One of the senior deacons had asked me to return at least temporarily to assist because the church had just experienced a loss in the congregation. I had previously been a member, ministry leader and a Sunday school teacher. I had no agenda because there was nothing to gain. Honestly, I had left the church because it seemed to have no real agenda. The same people showed up each Sunday and did the same things. The same leaders were in the same positions, with no goals other than maintaining things. Everyone had become complacent and unconcerned about growth.

I could feel the uneasiness of the teacher as the lesson began which made me feel uncomfortable. Reality set in as the lesson continued. With each comment that I made to provide input to the lesson I could feel resistance not only from the teacher but also from others in the room who felt challenged by my presence. Then the comment came out "We are not all here for the same thing" accompanied with eye contact and a sneer. I took it personally because it was meant to be, but I shouldn't have. It was a reminder to me that I was in the company of adults who chose to attend that church for a reason. I was in the company of people who were not complacent. They were happy with things just as they were. I was making the mistake of trying to force my Holy Land experience on people who have a right to mature and grow at their own pace. Just as I had the right to move on, they had a choice to stay. So I realized that the comment really wasn't vindictive, it was actually a message from God saying, this is not the place for you.

I moved on to another church that is active and supportive where my whole family can grow where everyone is there for "the same thing". At least the same things that I am looking for.