Sometimes we are quick to label people as being racist or a bigot
when we may just be misinterpreting things. I am a Real Bama fan. Inside my
man-cave I have a huge Bama national championship flag that covers a wall. I
get Bama football memorabilia every time I visit my hometown and have a shrine
to Bama football. I have an autographed Bama cap from Mike Dubose (yup, the
horrible former Bama coach) and one of my cherished memories is the time that I
stood about 4 feet from Bear Bryant when the Bama team was boarding the bus to
go from the hotel to the Super Dome to play Ohio State in the 1978 Sugar Bowl.
That moment was punctuated when someone shouted “move little boy!” (I was
blocking the door). In my mind, it Bear Bryant who said it (which means that technically
we had a conversation). The point is I am Bama fan and I BLEED RED (I know you
are thinking that everybody does but being a Bama fan, I have two reasons!)
Anyways… A few days
ago after arriving in my hometown, I was driving down a street and saw the
mother lode of Bama memorabilia. The items were sitting on the side of the road
at the back end of a truck, clearly for sale. I planned to buy something to
adorn my monument to Bama football. I could imagine no better way to harass the
state of South Carolina than to constantly remind them that Bama football is
better. I once wore a Bama ball cap, to work as a ticket taker at a Clemson
football game (that did not go over well).
I pulled over and my 9 year old son and I got out of the
truck. I was so awestruck; I took a few pictures and was preparing to go into
the store, Copier Doctors, to talk about buying something. We never got a
chance because a woman (I assume that she was a manager / owner) bolted out of
the door. What I expected her to say was “Can I help you.” What she said was “You
can’t take pictures of that stuff!” I was stunned, because she was visibly
angry and aggressively confrontational. There was no sign that said “no
pictures”, the items were outside and didn’t appear to be a museum display and
I could not imagine what I had done just by showing up to cause her to treat me
less than a customer. I was offended and it was a challenge to not respond with
the aggressiveness that she displayed, especially in the presence of my son. I
figured that the moment would pass. It didn’t.
I explained that I saw the items while driving and that I
had planned on buying something. I also told her that I thought it would be
neat to have a few pictures of such a neat display of Bama stuff (I figured
that it was a harmless explanation, because it was true). She went on to loudly
explain that “most people” (the way I took it was “God-fearing, people from the
real south”) would come inside and ask if they could take a picture before they
did (seriously???). She rambled on to say that she had a signed contract saying
that she wouldn’t let anyone take picture of the stuff because people could
take the pictures, and go and make molds and sell the items on their own.
Without trying to escalate the situation, I asked what would stop someone from
buying an item, then taking pictures and making a mold. (I was really thinking,
“Why are you out here yelling at me, an adult male in the presence of his son?)
That is where my concerns for racism kicked in. I instantly
thought: Would she have bolted out the door and yelled at a little old white
lady, a white man? What would make her instantly think that a black man and his
son taking pictures of items that are for sale, sitting outside of her shop,
next to a public street was planning on doing anything other than buy
something? I immediately thought that it was about race. Did she decide that I
was a customer that she did not want or that I could not afford what she was selling.
I offered to delete the pictures and sarcastically offered to destroy my cell
phone. I pointed out how unnecessarily rude she was and then got in my truck
and left. I was angry but I thought about it a few days before coming to my
final assessment.
While the episode was demeaning and marginally humiliating, to
think that it was naked racism or bigotry is unfair. She might have been angry
at some life event or just have horrible communication or customer relation
skills. I appreciated the encounter because it was real and my son and I got to
talk about it. She was either a horrible person or a good person caught at a
horrible moment. The situation was unfortunate, but shareable. I took offense
for the wrong reasons. From afar, she judged me and got angry at me without
even meeting me. I honestly will never go to that shop again but I will not judge
other people’s character based on her actions.
I had to tell the story because bad experiences can
contaminate us and had the potential to affect how my son viewed people and I
am a better father than that.
